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Posts Tagged ‘holiday’

“I’ve decided not to have a crabby attitude about Thanksgiving this year,” I casually announced to my husband yesterday. If you can’t imagine anyone having a crabby attitude about Thanksgiving, I call as my witness this post from Thanksgiving 6 years ago. I began this blog nearly 8 years ago to share my journey through several challenges: being gluten free (before it was the popular thing to do), homeschooling a child with behavioral problems and learning challenges, financial strain, health issues, and losing a parent to dementia. Over the past 10 years I have dealt with loss after loss, which has particularly affected me during the holidays.

For years, I dreaded Thanksgiving and Christmas. It began with my son’s gluten free diagnosis the week before Christmas in 2008. Back then, gluten free items were expensive, hard to find, and tasted terrible. You were considered strange if you said you didn’t eat wheat, and no one knew what gluten was. That Christmas, I grieved the loss of a normal life for my son, and I grieved for myself because I would have to learn how to cook all over again with new ingredients that didn’t play by the rules. To this day, whenever I hear the Amy Grant song, “Breath of Heaven,” I remember crying in the car while listening to it on the way home from my first terrifying gluten free shopping trip, and praying, “God, I need you to hold me together because my world is falling apart.”

Then, the week before Christmas in 2009 we took my son out of public school and made the terrifying decision to homeschool him because of his writing difficulty (which I would later discover is Dysgraphia). Again, I grieved during the holidays the loss of a normal life for him and me. Fast forward to 2010, when my husband’s workplace folded because of the recession, leaving him unemployed for both that Christmas and Christmas of 2011. In 2012, he had a job, but it barely paid the bills, and we struggled to rebuild our finances. Then, in 2013, my mom had a stroke that left her with vascular dementia, erasing her memory and personality. That was effectively the year I lost my mom, even though she didn’t die until 2016.

Thanksgiving of 2013 was a particularly low point for me. I already hated how much work it was (back then) to create all our family’s favorite holiday dishes from scratch because there were no gluten free shortcuts like cream of mushroom soup or stuffing bread cubes. I had to dip tiny onion segments in batter individually and fry them myself in order to make green bean casserole. I was bitter over all the work I had to do for one meal that was over in less than an hour. Plus, the expense of gluten free food compounded financial stress. Plus, I had to clean my house for company (which always made me grumpy) because we were hosting my parents since my mom could no longer cook due to her dementia. Plus, I still didn’t know how I could relate to the person who technically was my mom, yet she wasn’t. That ugly Thanksgiving morning, I snapped at my family and ruined breakfast. I cried in my closet over all the loss that came crashing down on me at once. I felt defeated.

In 2016, I reached a tipping point. I lost my mom and put my son back in public school within a matter of months. God redeemed the heartache of losing one of my best friends by strengthening my relationship with my sister through the whole ordeal. She is my best friend (aside from my husband) and also a spiritual warrior who has helped me overcome generational strongholds. That fall, we prayed together and forgave those in our family line who had normalized a life of bondage to fear, and asked God to break the cycle in us and in our children. Within a couple of weeks, God healed me of my food sensitivities that had arisen out of the stress of the past several years, and set me free from my fear of food.

At the same time, God began to whisper crazy things to me about my son, like, “The things you fear are not real.” What? Back in 2016, God challenged me to believe that all the fears I had for my son’s future were based on behaviors of the past that would not carry into his future. I dared to believe God and was able to break free from the stronghold of fear that had gripped me as a homeschooler. But things didn’t get better for my son; they got worse. The stress of school launched health problems for him that have lingered for over two years now.

The week before Christmas in 2016, I was once again on my knees before the Lord in tears, begging God for direction and healing. That’s when God whispered something else totally crazy: “I will heal your son. Just celebrate me.” I was about to put my son on a restrictive diet to see if that would help him get rid of his digestive problems, but God said no. He was more concerned with my son’s emotional health, and wanted him to celebrate Christmas without the loss of favorite foods. So we just celebrated God’s goodness and provision. It was my first Christmas with no mother, and my son’s health issues and school stress were still there. While we were not celebrating any improvement in our circumstances, we chose to celebrate God and fix our eyes on him.

That choice to celebrate God and rest in his provision while believing him for deliverance launched a season of spiritual renewal and redemption. God blessed my husband’s work, and steadily increased his salary. We thought we would never get rid of our second mortgage, but God challenged me to believe that he would help us do what we could not, and I dared to believe him. Last year, we paid off our $55,000 second mortgage after completely draining our savings just 5 years earlier. God heard my cries, walked me through those painful holidays when I had to choose contentment, and worked miracles to provide what we simply could not do on our own. He used those years of financial strain to bring to the surface deeply rooted issues relating to financial bondage, and challenge me to believe that God wanted to bless me.

God then released us from the gluten free diet a year ago, restoring freedom to our family. But most amazing has been the transformation in my son. When I exiled him from homeschool in 2016 it was because he had become lazy, argumentative, entitled, and exasperating (you know, a typical 14-year-old). Two years after I turned him over to God and the public school system to discipline him, he underwent a dramatic change. I can only explain it as a work of the Holy Spirit. His laziness is gone. His resistance to authority is gone. Entitlement has been replaced by humility. As we have celebrated God and continued to read his Word as a family, God has taken hold of my son and transformed him into a new person. The difference in his behavior caused nothing short of shock and awe.

He has learned how to suffer physically, yet choose joy in the Lord. He is uncompromising in his faith and commitment toward obedience to God, which translates into obedience to those in authority over him and being impervious to peer pressure. God has healed him mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. All that is left is the physical healing. Although I have often given credit to the gluten free diet and homeschooling on this blog for tiny improvements in my son’s behavior, he was eating wheat and going to public school when God miraculously transformed him, literally overnight. God gets 100% of the glory!

Yes, those things were important parts of our story because the gluten free diet is what prompted me to start this blog, which is how I discovered that I am a writer. And homeschooling gave me an opportunity to focus on raising my son in the knowledge of the Lord, which is ultimately how God is healing him in every way. While God’s path to change in my son and in my life has been watered with tears, I would not erase it. He is a new person, and the things I once feared no longer hang over me. This blog stands as a testimony of God’s faithfulness to lead us through some of the darkest hours of my life.

My sister-in-law designed this for an apron (which I can’t wear because it’s white – hence the wrinkles from being stored in a drawer). Each part of my blog story shows part of the cross I have carried, but Jesus has the final word over the cross!

Right Back Where We Started or Completing the Lesson?
As I reflect on the past 10 years, which have been documented on this blog, I can’t help but notice that some cycles seem to be repeating themselves. This past week, we determined that my son was trapped in a viscous cycle of health problems being disruptive to school, which in turn caused homework to pile up (despite his best efforts) and lead to more stress which feeds his health problems. So we decided to break the loop and found an alternative schedule that will allow him to take some of his classes online through the school district at home. Essentially, we’re returning to part-time homeschool, right before the holidays again. But this time, my son is determined to be responsible for himself and work hard with a good attitude. This time, we made a change not because my son couldn’t get good grades, but because his A’s came at the cost of his physical health.

We’re also working with a functional medicine doctor to reduce my son’s inflammation, and the doctor has asked us to take him off of both gluten and dairy while we’re in the diagnosing stage, to eliminate those as possible inflammatory contributors. So here we are, the week before Thanksgiving, on an even more restrictive diet than before. Oh, and all of his expensive medical tests and supplements, on top of other big expenses, have left us pinching pennies for the holidays. Again. Those old, familiar temptations to give in to grumbling and despair resurfaced last week. Sure, I’d worked through the trials and found joy, but would I still choose joy if all my freedoms were taken away again? Sometimes we don’t know how much we’ve learned until God gives us a test.

What do we do when we find ourselves right back where we were before, repeating a familiar cycle? Does it mean that we are doomed to repeat the same trials our entire life, or is God giving us an opportunity to apply the lessons we’ve learned and face that same trial with spiritual maturity? I have learned from reading the Bible that the cycles documented in the Scriptures were meant to give both the people in the Bible and us opportunities to learn from the past and mature in our faith.

I don’t want you to forget, dear brothers and sisters, about our ancestors in the wilderness long ago. All of them were guided by a cloud that moved ahead of them, and all of them walked through the sea on dry ground. In the cloud and in the sea, all of them were baptized as followers of Moses. All of them ate the same spiritual food, and all of them drank the same spiritual water. For they drank from the spiritual rock that traveled with them, and that rock was Christ. Yet God was not pleased with most of them, and their bodies were scattered in the wilderness. 

These things happened as a warning to us, so that we would not crave evil things as they did, or worship idols as some of them did. As the Scriptures say, “The people celebrated with feasting and drinking, and they indulged in pagan revelry.” And we must not engage in sexual immorality as some of them did, causing 23,000 of them to die in one day. Nor should we put Christ to the test, as some of them did and then died from snakebites. And don’t grumble as some of them did, and then were destroyed by the angel of death.

These things happened to them as examples for us. They were written down to warn us who live at the end of the age. If you think you are standing strong, be careful not to fall. The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure (1 Corinthians 10:1-12).

The struggles and temptations you and I face are no different from the temptations humanity has faced for thousands of years. Sure, the specifics may be different, but the temptation is the same. Israel was tempted to grumble when they were stuck in the desert eating manna. I was tempted to grumble when I was stuck with the gluten free diet restrictions during the holidays. Israel was tempted to give in to fear and unbelief when they had the opportunity to enter the Promised Land, and I was tempted not to believe that God would ever restore us financially or give my son – whom I could only view as broken for so many years – a good life. But God gives us a way out of temptation and cycles of brokenness. Jesus came to set us free from bondage to sin and shame.

How God Helps Us Break Cycles
When the children of the unbelieving generation of Israelites were ready to enter the Promised Land their parents failed to enter, God purposely led them in a way that would help them break the cycle of unbelief. He brought them through the Jordan River on dry ground, just as he had delivered their parents through the Red Sea on dry ground, but this time he had each tribe gather a stone from the middle of the river to set up as a memorial so they wouldn’t forget what God had done for them. That’s what this blog has been for me. It serves as a reminder not just of the trials I’ve gone through, but of how God has brought me through each one. He has delivered me around or sometimes through every obstacle, and brought me safely to the other side. So this Thanksgiving, instead of giving into despair over the battles still ahead, I choose to gaze at these stones of remembrance and thank God for his faithfulness to our family time and time again.

After crossing the Jordan, the Israelites were circumcised as a sign of God’s covenant with them. God then told them, “Today I have rolled away the shame of your slavery in Egypt” (Joshua 5:9). God named the place Gilgal, which means “to roll.” We cannot break the negative cycles in our past until God rolls away our shame. For a Christian, sanctification is the process of inviting God to “circumcise our heart” and replace our rebellious, hardened heart with a tender heart of obedience out of love for God, as promised in Ezekiel. “I will take away their stony, stubborn heart and give them a tender, responsive heart” (Ezekiel 11:19). That is exactly what happened with my son last summer.

Afterward, we encouraged him to be baptized because that is the “Gilgal” for Christians, when we physically experience God rolling away our shame. My son has felt a lot of shame over his behavior as a child and early in his teen years. God does not want him to live with that shame, so he washes it away in the baptismal waters. What a joy it has been to welcome my son “home” to do school and release him from his former reproach. That’s what our Heavenly Father promises to do for all of us! Just as Gilgal became the base camp for the battles in the Promised Land, when the enemy tries to pull us back into shame over our past, we need to return to our Gilgal to rest and declare, “I am not that person anymore. God has rolled away my shame.”

After the Israelites entered the Promised Land and began to eat the produce of the land, the manna dried up and was never seen again. The Israelites would now have to work for their food, and trust that God would provide through them, not just for them. Now that my husband has a good-paying job, as the cycle of financial strain repeats itself, I have to rely on God to help me be a good steward of our resources. I still have to choose contentment and live beneath my means, even though I have more choices available. When I had no confidence that we would ever get out of debt, I had to trust God to provide for our needs. Now that we are out of debt and financially stable, I still have to trust God and not panic when we dip into savings. God wants to end the cycle of fear and scarcity by giving me opportunities to choose contentment whether we have little or much. God is able to bring each of us to the place where we can join with the Apostle Paul in saying, I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:11-13).

When it was finally time for the Israelites to face their first battle in the Promised Land, God gave them specific instructions that would help them overcome the mistakes of their grumbling parents. They would conquer Jericho by walking around it – in silence. “Do not shout; do not even talk,” Joshua commanded. “Not a single word from any of you until I tell you to shout. Then shout!” (Joshua 6:10). What was it that invited God’s discipline of their parents over and over in the desert? Grumbling! If they had been allowed to talk while marching, they would have no doubt returned to the grumbling ways of their parents. Someone would have complained or voiced their fear, causing the whole army to question themselves or grumble.

God knows it is in our nature to do what we’ve always done or what was modeled for us, so he disciplines us in a way that forces us to take a different approach in order to overcome the past. That’s why he gives us opportunities to face the same challenges our parents faced or that we previously failed to overcome, so that we can try again and do it right this time. The obvious lesson for me, in this holiday season, is to overcome the temptation to grumble about my circumstances. If I have to fix the entire gluten free, dairy free, Thanksgiving meal in total silence, so be it – but I would rather shout my gratitude to God, because that is what gives me the victory over the enemy!

When God brings us back to familiar territory – whether pleasant or unpleasant – the Christian who wants to grow in spiritual maturity will learn to ask God, “What lesson are you wanting to complete in me?” God is not punishing us by allowing us to go through the same trials over and over again; he wants us to learn how to be overcomers through them, no matter how many times it takes. God created the world to operate in cycles of seasons. Every spring we have to prune in order to make way for new growth. Every summer we have to pull weeds or suffer the consequences. Every fall we choose whether to share our bounty or hoard it. Seasons and cycles repeat regularly because no matter how many times we fail to do something right, God wants to give us another chance. The Scriptures show us that God is able to help us overcome our weaknesses by the power of the Holy Spirit, but we must choose to believe and obey the Spirit. As God begins to rewire our thinking through daily exposure to the truth of God’s Word, eventually thought patterns change and cycles of behavior are broken (Romans 12:2). That is my testimony which I have chronicled on this blog.

So here we are, right before Thanksgiving, choosing to be thankful. This year, I will make our gluten free AND dairy free Thanksgiving dinner with a cheerful attitude, and give God thanks for the hope of healing that we have. This year, I will choose contentment with a pared-down Christmas celebration, once again, and praise God for what we have while sharing with those less fortunate. This year, I rejoice that God has rolled away the shame of my past and my son’s past, and given us hope for the future as we prepare to enter our Promised Land. This year, I choose joy in all circumstances, which was and still is the purpose of this blog. The cycle is complete.

“Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think” (Ephesians 3:20).

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This delicious, holiday breakfast cake is full of fiber, protein and pumpkiny goodness that won’t spike your blood sugar or cause you to gain weight. (We’ll leave that job to Grandma’s sugar cookies and fudge.) Nicely spiced with cinnamon and vanilla, there’s just enough sweetness (from only 1/2 c. honey!) to compliment the tartness of the cranberries. If you don’t care for fresh (or frozen) cranberries, you can substitute dried cranberries, although they are heavily sweetened with sugar.

Using a half coconut flour, half almond flour blend delivers a wonderful texture and moist crumb that lasts for over a week in the fridge, which makes this a great make-ahead recipe for your gluten free or dieting guests.  (Check with strict Paleo guests to make sure they’re okay with the xanthan gum and baking powder; everything else is Paleo. You can omit these ingredients, but it will affect the texture and rise.) If you’re not a fan of coconut, rest assured that there are so many other flavors going on in this recipe that you’ll get all the health benefits of coconut flour without tasting it!

Although this resembles a muffin more than a cake in terms of sweetness, baking it like a cake in a 9″x13″ pan makes the equivalent of 2-dozen muffins without all the scooping (and yes, I’m just that lazy). This is one of my daily breakfast choices that helps me maintain my weight loss, but if you’re looking for a holiday treat to please your sweet tooth, check out my gluten free caramel sticky buns and bacon-wrapped smokies. However, with the guilt-free breakfast below, you can have your (breakfast) cake and eat it too!

Pumpkin Cranberry Cake

Grain-Free Pumpkin Cranberry Breakfast Cake

1 very ripe medium banana
½ c. pumpkin puree
6 eggs
½ tsp. salt
¾ c. coconut flour
1 tsp. baking powder
½ tsp. xanthan gum, slightly rounded
½ c. butter, melted
½ c. honey
2 tsp. vanilla extract
¾ c. almond flour (fine flour, not coarse almond meal)
1½ tsp. cinnamon
1 tsp. baking soda
1½ c. fresh or frozen cranberries

Break banana into chunks and place in a large mixer bowl. (The riper the better; just cut out any black parts.) Mash using the paddle attachment until the banana is pureed and smooth. Mix in pumpkin puree. Add eggs, two at a time, beating well on medium speed after each addition. Add salt.

Pour the coconut flour into the mixer through a sifter or sieve to separate the coconut flour clumps. (You may have to press some remaining coconut flour balls through the wires.) Add the baking powder and xanthan gum, then mix on medium speed, scraping down the sides, until the batter is smooth.

Melt butter in a glass liquid measuring cup. Add honey until you have 1 c. total liquid; stir a little to soften honey. Add to the mixing bowl with the vanilla extract and mix until combined.

Add almond flour, cinnamon and baking soda to mixer and mix until combined, scraping down the sides as needed. Stir in cranberries.

Spread mixture into a greased, 9”x13” baking pan, smoothing the top as much as possible. Bake at 350 degrees for 35 minutes (if using a glass pan – less for a dark, nonstick pan, and possibly longer in a disposable foil pan) or until the top springs back when pressed in the center of the cake. This will get pretty dark because of the pumpkin and almond flour, so don’t worry if it looks overdone!

Serve warm. Store cooled cake tightly covered in the fridge for up to 10 days. Serves 12.

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This easy-to-assemble, deliciously creamy cheesecake is a gluten free version of a recipe I found for the Cheesecake Factory pumpkin cheesecake.  I reduced the recipe to fit an 8″ round disposable aluminum pan (see note), which eliminates the need for a springform pan since you can bend the edge of the pan down to easily release a slice. (It also eliminates the need to wash your pan!) This recipe makes 8 large slices (pictured below) or 10 smaller slices. If you want to double the recipe for more guests, I’d recommend using 2 pans rather than a 10″ springform pan because long, skinny cheesecake slices are impossible to cut and serve neatly.

Pumpkin cheesecake with pecans, whipped cream and caramel!

Pumpkin cheesecake with pecans, whipped cream and caramel!

Crust Substitutions
Because I like a hint of pecans with pumpkin desserts, I substituted pecans ground in a food processor for some of the graham cracker crumbs in the original recipe. (Be careful to grind them just until they resemble crumbs; if you grind too long you’ll end up with nut butter!) I used the gluten free Kinnikinnick Graham Style Crumbs, but you could make the crumbs by crushing or processing in a food processor whole S’morables. (While putting in links just now, I discovered that Pamela’s also makes gluten free graham crackers.) If you need a nut-free dessert, simply substitute additional graham cracker crumbs. Or, if you can’t find gluten free graham crackers in your area, try using gluten free ginger snap crumbs and omit the sugar. Pamela’s, Mi-Del’s, and Trader Joe’s gluten free ginger snaps are all good.

This cheesecake tastes better and better each day, so it’s the perfect dessert to make a day or two before Thanksgiving. I haven’t tried freezing it, but most cheesecakes freeze well. If you freeze it, be sure to cover it with a layer of plastic wrap and foil, then thaw it in the fridge at least 24 hrs. before serving.

For more holiday recipes, type “Thanksgiving” or “Holiday” in the search bar on my blog. And while you’re at it, check out my yummy GF pumpkin pancake or grain free pumpkin cranberry muffin recipes to use up your leftover pumpkin. Happy holidays!

Gluten Free Pumpkin Cheesecake

Crust:
1 c. GF graham cracker crumbs (see crust notes above)
1/3 c. ground pecans
1 T. sugar
¼ c. butter, melted

Filling:
2 pkgs. cream cheese, softened
2/3 c. sugar
1 tsp. vanilla extract
2/3 c. canned pumpkin
2 eggs
¾ tsp. cinnamon
1/8 tsp. ea. allspice, nutmeg, pumpkin pie spice

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Combine dry ingredients for crust in a disposable, 8” round foil pan.  (Note: I bought the kind that comes with a paper/foil lid at the dollar store, and while it says 9″ pan on the label, the bottom of the pan measures 8 inches.) Stir in melted better and toss with a fork until combined. Press into bottom and partway up sides of pan. Bake 5 minutes, then set aside until ready to fill.

Combine cream cheese, sugar and vanilla in mixer. Mix on medium-low until lumps disappear. Add remaining ingredients and mix until smooth. Pour into crust and smooth the top.

Place crust in a 9”x13” pan filled with 1 in. water. Bake 55-65 minutes until just set and the top appears dull. (If it’s cracked it’s overdone.)  Remove from oven and let cool on wire rack (out of water bath) for 10 min. Run a knife around the edge of the pan to release the edges, then continue to let cool until room temperature. Cover carefully and refrigerate overnight. (You don’t want any plastic wrap to touch the top of the cheesecake, but you also don’t want it to taste like the leftover pizza in your fridge.)

Serve with whipped cream and additional pecans or caramel sauce or crushed ginger snaps – or all of it!

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After a lovely summer of letting my children forage for their breakfast most days, I decided to celebrate our first cool, fall day with some I-can’t-believe-these-are-gluten-free ooey, gooey, caramel sticky buns. My family loves cinnamon rolls, but as those are tricky to make gluten free and require a lot of work, these little bites of heaven satisfy their desire for sweet rolls and my desire to not curse while baking.

Now if you are a more recent follower of my blog, you’ve probably come to expect low sugar, grain free or otherwise healthy recipes from me. This recipe is…um…not those things. But sometimes you need a recipe that will knock the socks off of a gluten-free skeptic, and so I feel obligated to share with you the mouth-watering result of my combining and tweaking the Namaste biscuit and Pillsbury Caramel Sticky Bun recipes. Happy fall baking (or whatever excuse you need to make these)!

Sticky Buns

Biscuit Ingredients:
2/3 c. milk + 2 tsp. white vinegar (to make buttermilk)
1 egg
1/2 c. very cold butter
2 c. Namaste Flour Blend (or other GF flour blend + 1 tsp. xanthan gum)
1 T. sugar
1 T. baking powder
3/4 tsp. salt (I just eyeballed a scant tsp.)
1/8 tsp. baking soda (omit if using other milk besides buttermilk)

Biscuit Coating:
1/3 c. sugar
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
3 T. butter, melted

Caramel Topping:
1/4 c. butter
1/4 c. brown sugar
2 T. maple syrup
1/2 tsp. vanilla (vanilla flavoring, not vanilla extract)

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees.

Pop the 1/2 c. butter for the biscuits in the freezer to get it nice and cold. Put the 3 T. butter for the biscuit coating in a microwave safe bowl and set aside. Combine the sugar and cinnamon for the biscuit coating in another bowl and set aside.

In a 1 c. liquid measuring cup, combine 2/3 c. milk with 2 tsp. white vinegar and stir to make buttermilk. (Using buttermilk really does make a difference in the texture of the biscuits, but if you need to use a dairy free milk, skip this step and omit the vinegar and baking soda.) Set aside.

In a large bowl, use a fork to combine the flour (plus xanthan gum if using a GF blend that does not contain any xanthan or guar gum), sugar, baking powder, salt, and baking soda (only if using buttermilk, which is needed to activate the soda). Take the butter out of the freezer and chop it into 8 slices, cutting each of those into quarters until it’s all in little cubes.

Toss half of the cubes in the flour mixture with the fork to coat. (This makes it easier to cut in butter without it all sticking together.) Using a pastry blender or two knives, start cutting in the butter. Add the remaining cubes and coat with flour, then cut in the butter until it is all in pea-sized or smaller crumbles. (And when you’re all done, recall that you have a food processor in the garage that is meant to make short work of projects such as this, then kick yourself for not remembering sooner.)

Place the 1/4 c. butter for the caramel topping in an ungreased, deep 8″x8″ pan and pop it in the oven to melt while you form the biscuits. (You really do need a pan with deep sides because the caramel will bubble up, and I can tell you from personal experience what a travesty it is to have the precious, yummy caramel bubble over onto the oven liner, making the whole house smell like burnt sugar for days. Heed this warning, gentle reader, lest ye suffer likewise.)

Crack the egg into the buttermilk and mix well with a fork. Stir this into the flour mixture with the fork until just combined. Place a little extra flour in a measuring cup to dip your fingers in to keep the biscuit dough from sticking to them. With floured fingers, pull off  2-3 T.-sized chunks of dough and roll into a ball, then gently flatten into a smallish biscuit on a piece of waxed paper. (The size/number is up to you; the smaller the biscuit, the more surface area is covered with sugar and the more servings you have. I ended up with 15.) Continue until all the dough is rolled into biscuits, occasionally checking on the butter in the oven to see if it’s melted.

Remove pan with melted butter from the oven (before it browns). Stir in the brown sugar until it dissolves. Add maple syrup and vanilla. Stir until you have a buttery caramel, occasionally swatting away fingers of children who wish to sample the caramel.

Melt butter for biscuit coating in the microwave, about 30 seconds. Dip biscuits into the butter, then coat in the sugar/cinnamon mixture you set aside AGES ago. (We’re almost there!!) Place biscuits on top of the caramel mixture in the pan, overlapping as necessary to make them all fit.

Bake 20-25 minutes until golden and biscuits are no longer doughy in the center. Let cool for 2 minutes (while you pour a cup of coffee or heat some sausage to serve with these in an effort to avert a sugar-coma).

Place an upside-down pretty serving plate on top of the pan (so your family will recognize that this is a special occasion and acknowledge your efforts accordingly) and, using oven mitts – duh – carefully invert the pan onto the serving plate. Spoon any remaining caramel from the pan onto the rolls (or save it for yourself as a reward for later if your family fails to give you the proper praise). Serve immediately.

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The holidays are often the toughest time of year for those with gluten intolerance, especially if you have multiple food sensitivities in your home.  The one menu item that’s, perhaps, the most stressful to replicate is a gluten free, dairy free roll.  Personally, I hate baking yeast breads because they’re so time-consuming, and they end up grainy or crumbly when made ahead.  So I modified my popover recipe for those times when I want a roll without all the fuss.

GF, DF Popover Rolls

Mmmm…no fuss bread.

If you’re not familiar with popovers, they traditionally have a big hole inside the crusty exterior, and the roll is very moist and spongy.  Gluten free popovers do not “pop,” so I added some baking powder to give mine a little rise.  The result is that instead of a big hole in the center, these have several holes throughout, which give it a more roll-like appearance.  But once you taste them, you won’t care if it’s a true roll or not because they have a wonderful flavor!

The key to a tasty, gluten free roll is a little cornmeal.  You won’t taste the corn, but it helps the flavor and texture to resemble wheat rolls.  If you can’t tolerate corn, just substitute an equivalent amount of your GF flour blend.  Likewise, I used almond milk because I like its texture for baking, but you could use rice milk if you can’t tolerate almonds (although you might want to increase the fat by 1 T. and decrease the milk by 1 T., since rice milk is pretty watery).  For this recipe, I used the Namaste flour blend because my Costco is carrying it for a reasonable price, but I imagine you could substitute the flour blend of your choice.

These rolls come together in a snap – just the time it takes to preheat the oven – and are very tasty with honey butter, jam, or our new favorite spread, Trader Joe’s Pumpkin Butter.  They can be made ahead of time, since these will never get crumbly, and they will last for several days in the fridge.  If you have leftover rolls, try slicing them horizontally (with a sharp, serrated knife to keep from mashing the insides) and filling them with leftover turkey or your favorite sandwich fillings.  My family enjoyed them for breakfast, filled with scrambled eggs, sausage, and melted white cheddar (which you can omit, if cheese is not tolerated).

For more gluten free holiday recipes, check out my Green Bean Casserole and Pumpkin Pie Crunch.  For a special holiday breakfast, try my Orange Cranberry Scones and Bacon-Wrapped Smokies.  Happy holiday baking!

Gluten Free, Diary Free, Popover Rolls

1 1/2 c. minus 1 T. Namaste GF flour blend*
1 T. cornmeal (put this in the bottom of your 1/2 c. and fill with above flour for easy measuring)
3/4 tsp. salt (reduce to 1/2 tsp. if using salted butter or margarine instead of coconut oil)
3/4 tsp. baking powder
1 c. + 6 T. original almond milk (NOT vanilla sweetened)
3 eggs
2 T. refined coconut oil, melted (or substitute DF margarine with salt note above)

*If using a different flour blend that doesn’t already contain xanthan gum or guar gum, add 1/2 tsp. xanthan gum to the dry ingredients.

Directions:
Preheat oven to 425 degrees.  (You’ll turn it down to 400 when you put the batter in, but you want the oven really hot.)

In a medium-sized bowl, whisk together the flour, cornmeal, salt and baking powder.  In a separate bowl, whisk together the eggs and milk.  Whisk the wet and dry ingredients together until the batter is smooth.  Stir in the melted coconut oil or butter.

Pour batter into 12 greased muffin cups.  Turn the oven down to 400 degrees, then bake for 30-40 minutes.  (I baked mine for 33 minutes, but they could have gone a little longer to brown more.)  Serve warm from the oven or reheat in the microwave.

Just so you know…
As I promised in my pledge to blog the truth, here is – literally – the rest of the picture that you didn’t see in my photo above.  I had to shove my daughter’s spelling book out of the picture, brush crumbs off the table, and straighten the tablecloth for the kajillionth time before snapping my photo because my family is physically incapable of sitting at the table without pulling the tablecloth askew.  Please also notice the Legos on the stairs in the background because there are ALWAYS Legos everywhere.  Always.  And it’s laundry day, so as I type this, my laundry basket (also in the background of the picture) is waiting to hold the clean – but now incredibly wrinkled – clothes from the dryer.  Be blessed.

 The Rest of the Picture

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I recently wrote about the importance of struggle in our growth, and how we’re learning as a family to face our challenges and see them as beneficial.  I encouraged those who are in need of God’s wisdom to ask him for it, believing that God desires to give generously to all who ask.  This week, however, God showed me in a dramatic way that not only does he listen and respond to our prayers (even though that response may sometimes be a “no”), God’s provision for us is already in place before we even ask.

This week, I felt burdened by the struggles my kids are facing, as well as my own struggle that seems to surface around this time each year.  I’ll admit, I was pretty stressed out and grumpy at the beginning of the week.  But with the tiniest ounce of faith I could muster, I asked God to give me special insight into my kids and show me how to encourage them in their struggles.  Within minutes, the Holy Spirit gave me Bible verses for each of them, and soon I was on a treasure hunt around the house, gathering up items to give my visual learners a picture of how God desires to encourage them.  Not only did God have a word for them, however, he had a word and visual picture for me that I was to acknowledge before them.  Apparently, God felt like my kids needed to know that they’re not alone in their struggles.

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I bought this set of bags at the dollar store months ago.  I had a vague idea of how I would use them that never panned out, so they were just sitting in my closet.  I filled these bags with items for each intended recipient, and set them on the table before breakfast to pique the kids’ curiosity.  After breakfast, I told the kids that each bag represented a struggle one of us was facing, and how God wanted to help us face our struggles.

Hope
God gave me the word, “hope,” as a keyword for my son’s struggle with math.  Here are the verses God brought to my mind.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit (Romans 15:13).  Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus (Phil. 1:6).

Inside his bag was a Lego pencil case (leftover from a failed attempt to make a Lego car Halloween costume a few years ago) filled with Lego-like candy bricks that I’d bought for his birthday, but never used.  We talked about how he gets overwhelmed and discouraged in math because the problems he’s doing now have multiple steps, so math feels tedious and exhausting to him.  He shuts down and just gives up because he feels hopeless that he’ll ever finish.  But the “God of hope” wants him to trust that not only can God fill him with joy, peace, and hope in the midst of his struggles, God will finish the work he’s started in my son.  (Any other moms need that word of encouragement today?!!)

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Just like the huge Lego creations he admires from master Lego builders that take hours of tedious, repetitive building, the work he’s doing now in math is part of God’s master plan for him some day (especially if he ends up being an engineer, which his innate spacial and mechanical abilities would suggest).  I told my son to take the Lego bricks upstairs to the computer where he does his math, and after each problem he finishes he can place a candy brick on top of another one, turning them into a creation.  At the end of the assignment, he can eat one of the bricks if he wants to (which means I’ll, obviously, be buying more).  When he gets discouraged by the tediousness of math, he can look at the bricks and visualize his own mental abilities growing one brick at a time, while being reminded that God is the Master Builder who will not give up on him.

Courage
God gave me the word, “courage,” for my daughter who came home in tears after her first practice in the new performance group she was chosen for at her dance studio.  Instead of being in the beginner group with the girls she knows, like last year, she was chosen for an advanced group with all older girls and no one she knows.  She felt like she couldn’t keep up with the steps and was in over her head.  This is my sensitive girl who doesn’t like to make mistakes or let anyone down, so being in the front row (which is a position of honor, but terrifying for her) is even more stressful, especially when the instructor had to stop and single out my daughter for help.  She wanted to quit because she feared failing and letting the group down.  As I’ve mentioned before, she’s a mini-me, so my heart went out to her.  But God reminded me of a verse I had my daughter memorize years ago, and I encouraged her to say it with me that morning at breakfast.

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go. – Joshua 1:9

I asked her if she could face her metaphorical “wall of Jericho” at dance class, knowing that God was with her, giving her courage.  Looking up at me with her big eyes and tender heart toward Jesus she responded, “Yes.”  I then had her open her gift, a butterfly necklace.  I honestly don’t remember when I bought the necklace or why, but I know it was over 5 years ago and had been sitting in a jewelry basket ever since.  But God brought that necklace to mind, along with an illustration I shared with the kids about how a butterfly needs to struggle to get out of its cocoon in order for its wings to be ready to fly.  If someone breaks open the cocoon, in an attempt to help, it only hinders the necessary work of preparing the butterfly to do what it’s created to do – to fly.

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I shared with my tender girl that as much as it breaks my heart to see her struggling, she is in the process of becoming a beautiful butterfly, and I don’t want to hinder God’s intended process for transformation by pulling her out of her struggles.  I am who I am because of – not just in spite of – the difficulties I’ve faced.  God can use every obstacle we overcome to build our testimony and strengthen our wings to fly.  I then pointed to the word, “Best,” on the necklace, and told her that God doesn’t require perfection from her in order to be a beautiful butterfly; she only needs to do her best.  (Honestly, I think it was half of a “Best Friends” necklace, which is why it ended up at the dollar store, but she didn’t need to know that!)  I also pulled out some butterfly wall stickers that I’d bought months ago – again, for no apparent reason – and told her that we’d add one to the walls in her room after each dance practice, as a reminder that God is using the struggle to strengthen her to fly.

Strength
There was one last bag on the table, and the kids assumed it must be for Dad.  But it was meant for me.  As I promised, in my Pledge to blog the whole truth, I’ll be honest and confess that I’ve been dealing with my own struggles lately.  As I mentioned above, it’s nothing new, and seems to surface each year as the holidays approach.  My struggle is with contentment.  We’re approaching 6 years of being the gluten free weirdos, and 5 years of being the gluten free weirdos who homeschool, so the holidays always usher in the comparison monster who invites me to the pity party of Woe-Is-Me and It’s-Unfair.  We’re also approaching our first Christmas in 5 years with the freedom to actually spend money on gifts.  For ourselves.  That last one seems like it should be a good thing, right?  But when you’ve spent 5 years prioritizing needs, spending all gift money on the kids or repairing/replacing broken items, and ignoring all wants (due to years of unemployment/underemployment), figuring out when it’s okay to actually buy something you want is incredibly stressful.  In the midst of my misery, as I was trying to sort through feelings and get to God’s truth, God pointed me to an unlikely source of encouragement: my 3-years-ago self.  I read my post on Saying No to Materialism This Christmas that I’d written in the middle of my husband’s year of unemployment, and was reminded that the same God who gave me contentment during that difficult season of my life intends to give me contentment now.  The verses God gave me are:

I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength (Philippians 4:11-13).

I was reminded, once again, that contentment in all circumstances comes from God who gives us either the strength to endure and be content with less when we are in times of want, or the strength to live an unselfish, disciplined life of contentment in times of plenty.  Contentment doesn’t mean never wanting anything for yourself; it means recognizing when you have enough and saying no to greed.  Whatever amount is “enough” is between you and God.  So if God can give us this strength, why do I so often feel weak?  Next, God pointed me to Isaiah 40:31 in the NET version.

But those who wait for the LORD’s help find renewed strength; they rise up as if they had eagles’ wings, they run without growing weary, they walk without getting tired.

Simply put, when I surround myself with the noise of consumerism and comparison, and plow ahead on my agenda without first waiting on God and seeking his direction and help, I get tired and weary.  I get grumpy.  I snap at my family and whine to God.  But when I wait on the Lord, I find that just like he had the bags and gift items waiting around for me to use, his strength and provision are already available to me.  I simply need to quiet my heart and look to him to fill me up.

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To illustrate this, God even had a gift to go in my bag.  It still makes me teary to think about it.  God directed me to go out into the garage and pull out of the “emergency gift bin” a pretty box containing a Santa mug and plate I’d been given 5 years ago as a thank you gift for teaching my daughter’s Sunday School class.  Because money was tight, I had set is aside, in case I needed a gift for someone.  For 5 years, it sat in the bottom of that bin, and this week God revealed why.  Someone else needs to hear this message with me today.

Some things are not meant to be given away.  Some gifts are just for me because my Heavenly Father loves me and desires to bless me.

The cup represents my need to be filled by God with his strength in order to be content and do the work he’s called me to do.  The plate represents my gifts to others, and reminds me to make sure that I’m giving what God’s asking me to give, not just what others expect me to give.  I must be filled up in order to give, and carefully discern God’s still small voice amid the pressures all moms feel to be all, do all, and give all.  What God enables me to do and be and give is enough.  I can be content in whatever circumstances through Christ who gives me strength.

God is the giver of all good things (James 1:17), and he has already provided everything we need to live the life he’s called us to live (2 Peter 1:3).  Perhaps, what you need is even in your closet or emergency gift bin right now!  Ask God to show you what what he has set aside for you today, and trust him to give you hope, courage, and strength.

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. – Ephesians 3:20

 

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These Paleo-friendly muffins are moist and soft with a mild pumpkin flavor, and taste even better the second day (which, I’ve noticed, is common among baked goods made with coconut or almond flour).  For a stronger pumpkin flavor, substitute another 1/2 c. pumpkin for the banana (although this may affect the sweetness). You can vary the flavors by substituting a different fruit puree for the pumpkin, like applesauce or one of the many unsweetened flavored applesauce squeeze pouches available now, and swapping in frozen blueberries for the cranberries.

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These look and taste yummy, but scroll to the bottom to see my latest cooking flop. Seriously, it’s an epic fail.

This time of year, when fresh cranberries are available, I love the tart burst of flavor they add to muffins.  (Helpful Tip: Stock up on cranberries in November when they usually go on sale for $1, then put them inside a gallon-size freezer bag and throw them in the freezer for later use.)  These would make a great holiday breakfast because they’re low in sugar and loaded with protein and fiber, so you’ll at least start the day with a stable blood sugar level – even if you plan to indulge later!

Also, if you want to save money by roasting your own pumpkin, hang on to any leftover uncarved pumpkins you may have bought to decorate your doorstep.  Don’t listen to the fancy-pants food blogs that insist you can only bake with a special “pie” pumpkin (which is code for “expensive” pumpkin).  Lean in, because I have a secret to tell you:

Pumpkins are food.  Food can be eaten.

My grandmother made pies out of our leftover uncarved pumpkins for years because people who lived through the Depression survived by not throwing away food.  I know, shocking.  Some jack-o-lantern pumpkins may be a little more watery, but you can strain out the water with a coffee filter or just adjust the liquid content in your recipes, if needed, although I’ve never had a problem with mine.  I’ve followed these pumpkin roasting directions and simply cut my big pumpkin into chunks that will fit on my baking sheet.  (You may need to do it in batches or extend the roasting time if using big chunks.)

The best part about roasting and pureeing your own pumpkin is that you can freeze it in portion sizes that fit your favorite recipes.  I like to put 1/2 c. portions in quart-size freezer bags, press it into the bottom half of the bag, then press out the air and stack them in a loaf pan to freeze.  To thaw, simply pop one in the microwave for 30 sec. on 50% power, then flip over and repeat.

Now you’re ready to make these delicious, grain-free muffins all winter long!

Grain-Free Pumpkin Cranberry Muffins

1 very ripe banana (the more ripe, the better – just cut out any bad spots)
1/2 c. pumpkin puree (canned is fine, just make sure it’s plain pumpkin)
5 eggs
1/3 c. melted butter or coconut oil (I prefer butter, but have used both)
1/3 c. honey
1 tsp. vanilla extract
1/2 c. coconut flour
1/2 c. almond flour
1 1/2 tsp. pumpkin pie spice*
1 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
3/4 c. cranberries, preferably chopped (frozen works)

*If substituting applesauce or a different fruit puree for the pumpkin – I’ve enjoyed using peach puree – omit the pumpkin pie spice, increase the cinnamon to 1 tsp., and use blueberries or whatever fruit you like instead of the cranberries.

Directions:
Mash the banana or break into chunks and mash in your mixing bowl with the paddle attachment.  (Just be sure to place your hands strategically over the bowl to prevent chunks from flying out of the bowl when it first starts.  Ask me how I know this…)  Mix in pumpkin puree.  Add eggs, one at a time, mixing after each one.  Mix in melted butter or coconut oil, honey, and vanilla.  Add remaining ingredients, except cranberries, and mix well.  Stir in cranberries.

Divide batter evenly among 12 greased muffin cups.  Smooth the batter on top, if you can, to avoid crunchy ridges on top of the muffins.  Bake at 375 degrees for 20-25 minutes until golden and the top springs back when you press down on one.  Again, these taste better the next day (and the next day, and the next day), so bake them the night before to make your morning go smoothly.

The Good, the Bad, and the “What is THAT?!!”
As now, as promised, here’s the flip side to my baking success.  I am most definitely NOT one of those artsy-craftsy bakers who makes Pinterest-worthy decorative cakes and cookies.  My idea of decorating a cake is topping it with the sprinkles that come with the can of Pillsbury Fudge Frosting (and God bless the folks at Pillsbury for making the BEST gluten free, dairy free chocolate frosting).  So when my son wanted to turn peanut butter balls into cute little owls, we came up with this:

Nailed it.

As my son put it, “I saw that turning out differently in my head.”  The good news is that when you’re baking with an almost-13-year-old, having your cute little owl morph into a spawn of the underworld is still a win.

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