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Archive for March, 2017

I have mixed emotions as I write my first financial post in several years. On the one hand, I’m excited to share the good news of God’s miraculous financial provision for our family, and how he’s been setting us free from bondage to financial strongholds. On the other hand, my heart is heavy for those who are under a burden of guilt and shame due to debt. If that’s you, please know that God does not condemn you and neither do I (Romans 8). God has a plan for debt forgiveness, and his name is Jesus Christ! If you believe God only cares about your spiritual debt and not your physical debt, then please read on as I share with you some truths from scripture that have set me free, and the testimony of how I have put God’s Word to the test in my life.

Let me also say up front that this is not a “get your finances in order” pep talk, either. Some of you may be so far in debt that you could work hard with “gazelle intensity,” saving every penny, and never get ahead of it unless God miraculously intervenes. Well, what if I told you that God still does miraculous interventions! God’s grace is sufficient for you, as it was for us in the years after my husband finally got a job, when we were desperately trying to rebuild our finances after draining every penny of our savings while my husband was unemployed for 18 months. It seemed like every time we got a little saved up something would come up, like needing to replace the furnace or a car, and our savings would get used up. So I know how discouraging it is when you’re trying to make good financial choices and you just can’t catch a break. During that season, however, God was teaching me 2 things:

  1. Be thankful that God has provided us with the means to pay for the things we need, and don’t stress about spending savings on actual needs. The God who provided it yesterday, will provide today and tomorrow.
  2. How I view God when my finances are tight reveals my level of faith and whether or not I believe he is a good God.

I remember when our freezer, which came with our first house and was so old I’ve never heard of the brand, finally gave out right at a time when I’d been losing weight and desperately needed to replace my wardrobe. I fell to my knees in my closet, sobbing because once again, a house need was going to take priority over my needs. I said, “God, I guess you just don’t want me to have new clothes.” I’ll never forget his response: “Why would you think that?” It set off a cascade of conversations with my husband as we wrestled with whether or not we really believed that God desired good things for us. We’d grown up in the church hearing all about how we are to give sacrificially to those less fortunate, but honestly didn’t know how God felt about our wants and needs. (Dave Ramsey’s book, The Legacy Journey, was immensely helpful in sorting out what is biblical truth and what has been twisted in order to guilt Christians into giving. If you were taught to believe that money is evil and God doesn’t want Christians to have it, I highly recommend reading it.)

During those years of savings slipping through our fingers due to large repair bills, God had asked me to surrender a dream our family had to go to Disney World. I honestly felt like it was a rebuke for having such a worldly desire. I let it go, and we had many wonderful – but much less expensive – family vacations during those lean years. I finally reached the decision that I would believe that God is for me (Romans 8:31), and desires to bless me both spiritually and physically as I obey him (Luke 6:38), even when it felt like the world was against me financially. Shortly after this turning point in my relationship with God, my in-laws decided to take all of my husband’s family to – you guessed it – Disney World!

A hug from Tigger was a hug from Jesus that precious day which cost us nothing.

When God said no to my desire, it was not a rebuke for having a desire to enjoy a once-in-a-lifetime trip with my kids; it was because he was going to bless me by providing it FOR me through someone else! Why is it so hard to believe that God is for us and wants to bless us? Why do we believe that God is like a parent who takes his child to a candy store, then chastises him for wanting a piece? In Matthew 7:11 Jesus said,

If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

God is a good Father. Perhaps your father made you feel like your needs weren’t important, or that you were foolish for wanting the things you wanted. God is a Father who blesses his children. That may be hard to believe because we see so much suffering in the world, but if you look at his relationship with those he called his own (Abraham, Isaac, Jacob/Israel and the Children of Israel) you will see a God who blesses and provides. Open God’s Word and you will find stories of manna and provision in the wilderness for 40 years, then whole cities delivered into the hands of his chosen people so that they didn’t even have to build houses when they came out of the desert! You will find a story of a widow whose husband was in debt, and the debt collectors were about to take her sons, so she cried out to the Prophet Elisha for help. God miraculously paid her debt and provided for her and her sons by multiplying oil in jars for her to sell (2 Kings 4). If God cared about delivering her from her debt, why don’t you think he cares about yours? 

The enemy has created so much confusion concerning money. In America, we have this idea that debt is just a part of life, so instead of turning to God and asking him to provide for our needs, which is exactly what he instructed his people to do, we turn to Visa.

This is what the LORD says: “Stop at the crossroads and look around. Ask for the old, godly way, and walk in it. Travel its path, and you will find rest for your souls. But you reply, ‘No, that’s not the road we want!’ – Jeremiah 6:16

Easy credit seems like a friend in an emergency, but turns out to be an enemy that enslaves us (Proverbs 22:7). When we awaken in the trap, instead of approaching “God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need” (Hebrews 4:16), we submit to guilt and shame and cover our debt with more debt. The enemy heaps so much guilt and shame on those who are burdened by debt, that we wrongly assume God is disgusted with us when we make a mistake. Like Adam and Eve we hide from God – the One who could set us free from this negative cycle of bondage.

But God does not want us to be staggering under the burden of debt. He intends for us to be generous givers as he gives generously to us. God’s intended cycle of financial blessing is outlined in 2 Cor. 9:

God will generously provide all you need. Then you will always have everything you need and plenty left over to share with others…God is the one who provides seed for the farmer and then bread to eat. In the same way, he will provide and increase your resources and then produce a great harvest of generosity in you. Yes, you will be enriched in every way so that you can always be generous (emphasis mine). And when we take your gifts to those who need them, they will thank God. So two good things will result from this ministry of giving—the needs of the believers…will be met, and they will joyfully express their thanks to God.

It is God’s plan to “generously provide all you need,” so if you have a scarcity stronghold like I did, and believe that you must stock up on every good deal that comes your way because it might not come around again, memorize this verse and repeat it every time you go to the store. God does not give sparingly. He will not only meet your needs, but give you enough to share with others. I can’t tell you how many times God provided just what I needed for the exact amount of money I had, time and time again. When we were in the middle of our long season of unemployment, with no end in sight, I needed to replace some worn out clothes for my kids and only had $2. I was going to head to the thrift store, but something came up and I had to put it off until the next day. When I arrived at the store the next day I discovered that it was $2 day, when you could buy everything you could fit into a big trash bag for just $2. I not only found what I needed for my kids, I found some things for myself, as well. God interrupted my original plan because he wanted to generously provide for not just my kids’ needs, but mine! When my kids outgrow their clothes, we pass them along to others who can use them so that, according to the verses above, we can help meet the needs of others which will cause them to give praise back to God.

That’s the cycle God intended: He provides the “seed” and “bread,” gives us a generous amount and a generous spirit, then we thank him for it and share it with others so they will also return thanks to God. However, in modern America the cycle has broken down. First, we’ve forgotten that every good and perfect gift comes from the Father (James 1:17). We don’t trust our Heavenly Father to provide for us, even though Jesus promised that if we would seek him first in everything, he would take care of all our physical needs (Matthew 6:25-34). Unfortunately, when we try to take more than he gives, we end up borrowing to finance it. One of the many blessings God promised his people in his covenant is that if they would obey him, The Lord will open the heavens, the storehouse of his bounty, to send rain on your land in season and to bless all the work of your hands. You will lend to many nations but will borrow from none” (Deut. 28:12). God’s blessing is for his people to be lenders, not borrowers, but we’ve got it backwards in this country. We think it’s a blessing to borrow because it enables us to have whatever we want right now. However, we can’t give generously when we are in debt, so the cycle breaks down. To get back into the cycle of faith, we need to first believe that God is good, and trust him to meet our needs. I know it’s hard when you are poor – believe me, friend, I’ve been there – but God has never failed to provide for my needs, and he will meet yours. Ask him!

The other place where God’s blessing cycle gets interrupted is when we start experiencing financial success and look around like King Nebuchadnezzar, exclaiming, “I, by my own mighty power, have built this beautiful city.” (Read the rest of Daniel 4 to see what God had to say about that and how he humbled this mighty king!) Folks, can we be real and just admit that we have a tendency to blame God for the suffering in our lives, while giving ourselves all the credit when things are going well? God will not share his glory with anyone else, which is why he commanded us to have no other gods before him. He’s not going to abundantly bless us if we give ourselves all the glory for it and hoard it (Luke 12:16-21).

It is not wrong to have money and enjoy God’s blessings. God gives good gifts to his children for our enjoyment (Jeremiah 31:12)! But when God blesses us – no matter how small a thing – we need to develop the habit of giving him praise. When our finances were tight, I would praise God for a $1 off coupon. But you know what? I developed the mindset that God was providing for all my needs – and he was! I could be totally wrong, but sometimes I think God delights in blessing me with little things financially – a good bargain here, a freebee there – because he gets a kick out of knowing that I will praise him for ALL of it. And when we share with others in need, they praise God too. That’s how the church is supposed to be encouraged and built up. We sometimes blame God for the failings of the church, but his desires and plans are perfect.

We know this on a gut level, but it is hard to live God’s way in a materialistic culture that bombards us with constant messages that we need this or that to be happy, and we can easily finance it with debt. Advertisers prey on our fears (of missing out, not being accepted, not having enough because we passed up a sale, etc.), which is why we need God’s perfect love to cast out our fear (1 John 4:18) and replace it with the fruit of the Spirit in order to have self-control. The Apostle Paul said,

 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength. (Philippians 4:12-13)

We can’t do this on our own. We need God to set us free from financial strongholds, and we need the Holy Spirit to fill us with the strength to be content with whatever God has provided. This is, I believe, why the spiritual discipline of tithing is so important. By giving God 10% of our income, we stand up to the enemy’s lie that we can’t rely on God to take care of us, and we practice self-control as God gives us the strength to be content living beneath our means. It’s not about the church needing our money; it’s about God wanting us to trust him to meet our needs and satisfy our desires. God not only asks us to tithe, he invites us to test him and believe that he will bless us if we do!

Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the LORD Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it. (Malachi 3:10)

So we did. When my husband was unemployed, his $1200/month unemployment check didn’t even cover half of our living expenses. But we tithed $120 every month anyway. We never missed a meal or a bill payment. We always had clothes. We never carried a balance on a credit card. For 18 months we didn’t get sick and our cars didn’t break down. I don’t know how our savings stretched, but God made it stretch. Even though our budget was painfully tight, God met ALL our needs. Not only that, God miraculously doubled my husband’s income over the past summer, which replaced that lost savings we’d had to live on – glory to God! We used the extra money to pay down our second mortgage because we agree with God that debt is not his plan for us. Paying down debt directly challenged my stronghold of scarcity because I wanted to build up our savings for my security, but trusting in God instead of a savings account has given us victory over the enemy in this area, and that has led to victory in other areas, as well. We could not pay off debt on our own without God’s help, but as we have yielded our finances to God, he has stepped in to provide what we cannot. I believe that as we are faithful to both enjoy and steward what he gives us, he will bless us with more so we can be lenders instead of borrowers (Matt. 25:14-30). And I believe God wants to do this for you, too!

Friends, it’s time for financial freedom. I don’t just mean getting our finances in order and getting out of debt, but allowing the grace and forgiveness of God to wash over us and set us free from bondage to shame. There is no pit you’ve dug for yourself that is so big that God cannot make a way out! Yes, we must repent, but we also need God to deliver us from financial mental strongholds. It doesn’t matter how many times you’ve studied the Financial Peace program or put a budget on paper if you have a spending addiction or scarcity stronghold that prevents you from following through. We need to know that our battle is not just with our flesh, but there can be spiritual – and even generational – strongholds surrounding how we spend money. (Families can pass down strongholds of spending addiction that leads to debt, or there can be a scarcity stronghold that leads to hoarding or a refusal to bless children.) The good news is that God has given us divine power to tear down strongholds in Jesus name, and take captive every thought – and spending habit – to make it obedient to Christ (2 Cor. 10:4-5).

If you would like God to set you free from money-related strongholds and get back into the cycle of blessing, I invite you to allow God to deliver and restore you as he has been restoring me. God can renew our minds and change the way we think, setting us free from old habits (Romans 12:2). This is how God is teaching me to bring strongholds to him:

  • First, we must acknowledge before God that we need his help to bind whatever has bound us. In order for deliverance to take place, we need to ask God to reveal any areas where we are in bondage and when we first were taken captive by this stronghold. Who spoke a lie over us or taught us in this way?
  • Feel the feelings you felt at that time. Did you feel fear that you wouldn’t have enough? Did you feel jealousy that someone had more than you? Did you feel shame when you were taught that money is evil and God wants Christians to be poor, or that having wants is wrong? Allow the emotions connected to that experience to emerge, and ask God to cleanse and heal your emotional wounds.
  • Receive God’s forgiveness to you for your part in agreeing with the lie or fear and acting on it. Then forgive and ask Jesus’s forgiveness to flow through you to whoever else was involved in the beginning and perpetuation of this stronghold. Allow God’s forgiveness to flow through you to others until you feel at peace. If you need to forgive God because you feel like he let you or your family down, then do that. Don’t get hung up on theology – if you’re mad at God, forgive him. If you need to forgive yourself, do that. Until we forgive ALL our debtors – those who have wronged us – we leave the door open to torment by the enemy (Matt. 18:34-35). In order to close the door to shame, we MUST forgive as Christ forgave us.
  • Renounce the lie you have believed out loud, if there is one. (Say, “I no longer believe that I have to hoard things,” or “I no longer believe that I must buy things beyond my budget in order to be happy.”) Then ask God to replace the lie with scriptural truth, which is how God renews our minds. Say aloud, “I am not controlled by my sinful nature. I am controlled by the Spirit of God. I have no obligation to do what my sinful nature urges me to do because I am a child of God” (Romans 8:9-16). Rebuke the stronghold of scarcity by saying, “I believe that my God will meet all my needs” (Phil. 4:19). Stand firm against the strongholds of spending and hoarding addictions by proclaiming, “God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-discipline” (1 Timothy 1:7). Meditate on these scriptures and whichever ones the Holy Spirit brings to your mind every time you go shopping, and see what God will do!

God’s grace abounds toward you and me. It is God’s plan to bless his children, and he will restore you as you daily walk with him and renew your mind with the Word of God. This is how he restored me. If you don’t know where to start, print out the verses I’ve linked in this post and pray over them, yielding to the Holy Spirit, and allowing God to change you from the inside out. According to 1 Thessalonians 5:23-24, God is able to keep you blameless, and he will do it!

Return to the Lord your God,
    for he is merciful and compassionate,
slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love.
    He is eager to relent and not punish. (Joel 2:13)

Jesus paid our debts on the cross to set us free from paying the wages of sin and death. The gift of God is abundant life, and you can take that to the bank!

 

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I’ve shared on this blog before how God gave me a new spiritual name in my 20’s to symbolize the different direction he was taking me. For the first 21 years of my life my name was Ability. Much of my life was on a stage singing, acting, dancing, or speaking. But then God began to take me off the stage so he could root me in my faith and deepen my relationship with him. During this season my name was Availability, which is my old name – Ability – with my literal new married name, Vail. For the past 21 years I have sought to simply be available to be used by God whenever and wherever he wants to use me. I have mostly done short ministry assignments in a variety of places in the church, as well as homeschooling my children and occasionally blogging.

However, around the time of my 42nd birthday, last summer, God began to move mountains in my life. He released me from homeschooling my oldest child which forced me to face every fear I’d ever had about him in the weeks leading up to his return to public school. The voice of the enemy was so deafening in my ear with shouts of fear, but because of how close God had been to me earlier in the summer during the 6 weeks my mom was on hospice before she died, I knew that if God could sustain me while I was taking care of her, he could certainly take care of my son in school. However, the power of God to silence that screaming voice of fear was not activated until the day before my son started school, when I taught my Sunday School class the lesson God had been teaching me on parenting out of faith instead of fear. God’s power in our life is often activated by our voice when we speak in agreement with him.

It was then that I first discovered the power of my new name, Avail. The “Ability” part of Availability has been dropped because, frankly, whatever abilities I bring to the table don’t matter to me anymore. I’m not interested in being praised for my abilities – a former stronghold of mine. As I move into this third segment of my life (which, interestingly, can clearly be divided into segments of 21 with 3 distinct seasons of 7 years in each), God’s priority for my life is that my words and prayers avail much for the kingdom. It’s not my stage; it’s His. The word avail means

to be of use; have force or efficacy; serve; help
to be of value or profit

The root, which happens to be my last name, Vail, comes from the Latin valēre, to be of worth.

It’s no surprise, then, that the enemy first attacked me in my youth with the stronghold of insecurity. If God intended for my words and life to avail much for the kingdom – to be of value or profit – the enemy needed me to question my worth, or at least link it to my abilities so that when I failed or was no longer in the spotlight, I would doubt my value. However, as I activated my new name by speaking the truth over my life – the truth that I am of worth because Jesus died for me, and I was created for a purpose that God will accomplish in and through me – the enemy lost his power to bind me with fear. You and I were created to avail much. Our words have efficacy, which means “the ability to produce a desired or intended result.” If God has given you a promise for your life, don’t just think it, speak it! When the enemy comes against you with fear, boldly speak the truth and promises of God with praise and thanksgiving, and the enemy will flee!

Speaking God’s truth and promises over my son – that he is God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for him to do (Eph. 2:10), and that God will finish the good work he started in him (Phil. 1:6) – silenced the voice of fear. It also activated those promises in my son’s life. I have never seen him thrive and flourish like he has since the school year started. God’s hand is on him in a mighty way, healing him and maturing him in every way. God is blessing him and our relationship with him. Hallelujah!

Parents, what I’m about to share may be a hard pill to swallow, but here is what God’s been showing me about our words. When we believe God and speak his truth over our kids, it activates his blessings in their lives. If you read through the Old Testament, you’ll find several accounts of parents speaking blessings over their children (Noah, Isaac, and Jacob, to name a few). People brought their children to Jesus so that he could bless them. These blessings had power and efficacy. However, when we listen to the voice of the enemy – which often comes as the voice of fear – and speak words over our children in agreement with our fears, we are unintentionally speaking curses.

“Stop acting so weird or you’ll never have any friends,” we say to our child in agreement with the voice of our fear. And so the child becomes fearful of other people, wondering if people are rejecting him. As a result, he withdraws and becomes overly self-conscious. And ends up with no friends. Cursed by our words of fear voiced over him. 

One of the hardest things God’s called me to do this year is apologize to my son for agreeing with my fears and speaking curses over him. God told me, when he was 4 years old and in the midst of major upheaval in his behavior, that he would be all right. (And because God is always consistent, he spoke that same promise again recently.) However, for the past 10 years the voice of fear has often gotten the best of me, and I’ve reacted and parented out of fear that what I was seeing was going to be a forever thing instead of just a phase. (How do you know if you’re parenting out of fear? You’ll know it’s fear when you feel like you need to control your child’s behavior. There’s a difference between teaching our kids self-control and being just plain controlling.)

When my son started public high school, I wanted to talk to his teachers about his Dysgraphia because I feared that his writing difficulty would hinder him from finishing his work on time, but my son didn’t want me to. The reason why God also said no was because he knew that phase was over and there is nothing hindering him in his writing anymore. I honestly believe that had I kept speaking it over him, it would have continued to plague him, which is why God said, “Enough! Start believing and acting like you trust Me that if I say he’s okay, he’s okay.”

God’s revealed to me that my son and I were meant to be 2 threads woven together in a beautiful tapestry for the dual purpose of teaching me how to love and accept someone who is unlike me, and also speak words of encouragement to other moms of kids who don’t fit into the world’s mold. He gave me a precious, quirky boy who was meant to be different – and we were to delight in it.

This is now one of our favorite photos, depicting our epic failure as parents to recognize that 4-year-old soccer was not our sons jam. He was so miserable, but we learned our lesson not to assume anything with this kid!

This is now one of our favorite photos, depicting our epic failure as parents to recognize that 4-year-old soccer was not our son’s jam. He was so miserable, but we learned our lesson not to assume anything with this kid!

However, the enemy also had a plan to spin a web of fear between my son and me, so that every time I ran headlong into fear I would attach that web to him and myself, thus tangling us up in a sticky mess. Every time I voiced my fear, and spoke words in agreement with it, we got more and more entangled in the web. But God, in his grace and mercy, has not only delivered me from the stronghold of fear through voice-activated faith, he has been untangling us from that ugly web. Glory to God!

Thankfully, the way into that mess was also the way out. When I apologized to my son for sticking that web on him, I said, “I revoke the curses I have unintentionally spoken over you.” I then laid my hands on him and began to speak blessings. I blessed him in every area of his life I could think of where I used to be filled with fear. I blessed his education, his friendships, his marriage someday, his work; everything God brought to my mind, I agreed with God’s good plan and spoke it.

I want my words to avail much for God’s kingdom and in the lives of my children. God’s word tells us that we will overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony (Revelation 12:20). Our words have efficacy, especially in the lives of our children. Oh God, consecrate our mouths so that we speak blessings, not curses. May the words of our mouths and the meditations of our hearts be acceptable to You.

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