Your schedule is full of All The Things a “good” mom does: You juggle kids, home, cooking, relationships, finances, church responsibilities, kids’ activities, and possibly a full-time job (or if you have babies at home, you have a 24/7 job, bless your sleep-deprived heart). You collapse at the end of the day in front of the computer where you see pictures of All The Things the other moms are doing and wonder if you’ll ever measure up. Then someone reminds you that it’s Ash Wednesday and – oh, by the way – on top of all the sacrifices you’re making, Jesus would like you to make one more for the next 40 days so you can relate to his suffering. GREAT!
Dear stressed out mom, if that is you, can I just say that Jesus can relate to your sacrificial giving to your family, and he promised that his yoke – the things he asks you to do with his help – is easy and his burden is light (Matthew 11:28-30). Fasting something during the season of Lent (the 40 days leading up to Easter plus Sundays, on which no fasting is to take place) can be a valuable spiritual discipline for those of us who need God to help us develop self-control – one of the Fruits of the Spirit – as we focus on saying no to the desires of the flesh that hinder us from experiencing freedom in Christ. But when you are weary from running your race, Jesus invites you to find rest in him so he can grow the other Fruits of the Spirit (like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, etc.) in you. When you are empty, you have nothing left to give or sacrifice, and must come to the Giver of all good things to be filled up.
So my Ash Wednesday – or any day – invitation to the weary is to go on a date with Jesus for the next 46 days. (I suppose you can forgo it on Sundays, if you’re going to church, but I find that I especially benefit from quiet time with Jesus before I walk into church because I have many words, and I need God to sanctify my mouth. And my entire Sunday School class says, “Amen.”)
When I say “date,” I mean exactly that. Set up a beautiful space with as many things as you can think of that make you feel special, like you’re on a date. What do you enjoy? What makes you feel nurtured, loved? Is it being outside in your garden or on your patio? (Being outside is too big a distraction for me because all I can see are the weeds and yard work I need to do, and that tends to lead to discipline from God rather than comfort…) Perhaps you have a sunny window where you can enjoy a cup of tea while the little ones nap. Maybe there’s a piece of artwork in your bedroom that you love, and you could pull up a chair, light a candle, and turn your back on the pile of laundry on the bed. You may have to do a little cleaning to get rid of any distractions and put a little effort into making your date space beautiful, but I promise it will make a difference in how you feel about your time spent with Jesus. Why? Because YOU ARE WORTH IT.
You are worthy of beautiful things. You are beautiful to Jesus. You are his precious treasure. When you are on a date, you feel special, and sometimes we need physical reminders of just how much God cherishes his time with us. We know in our heads that Jesus died on the cross for us, but do we feel in our hearts the depth of his love and enjoyment of our relationship with him?
I can tell you from personal experience how much this concept has changed my relationship with Christ. I developed the “discipline” of daily quiet time with God at the beginning of the day years ago, but in the past two years God has been growing the fruit of joy in my life by first teaching me how to find my joy in him, and secondly, by encouraging me to incorporate things that bring me joy into our time together. As I began to infuse my quiet time with sights and smells that delight me, and listen to his whispers of love to my heart through scripture and healing devotional books, I could not help but fall deeper in love with my Savior.
And that’s what Jesus desires most from you; not your sacrifice for him, but your love and relationship with him.
Here is my “date” space with Jesus. I put twinkle lights on our fake tree to brighten up the dark winter mornings, and light scented candles (to cover up the smell of our disgusting dog who is a third wheel on our date). I curl up under a cozy blanket and savor a good cup of coffee (because coffee is God’s gift to moms) while I meditate on God’s Word and talk to him about my day. In this environment, I have a heightened sense of how precious I am to Jesus because it makes me feel precious. (If you struggle with low self-esteem, it’s especially important to incorporate physical reminders of his love for you into your time together.)
I’m currently reading Beth Moore’s inspiring book, Audacious, and would also highly recommend Jen Hatmaker’s, For the Love, to anyone in need of grace and a good belly laugh. But for date time, I can think of no better book than the Jesus Calling one year devotional (not as a replacement for scripture, but as a supplement). Some might balk at it being written in first person, as Jesus speaking to you, but it was simply the author’s way of sharing what Jesus was saying to her through the scriptures noted at the bottom, not an attempt to add to scripture (so let’s not get into a theological debate in the comments section, okay?). However, I found that the first person messages helped me to overcome the negative voices in my head – “You’re not good enough, and you’ll never be as good at that as ______, so you should just give up.” – by allowing Jesus to counter them directly through words of grace and encouragement.
The devotional messages may not be direct quotes from Jesus in scripture, but I believe they come directly from his heart to you and me. We cannot overcome the negative messages from our culture until we learn to recognize the voice of Truth. Jesus said that his sheep would know him by his voice, so if you are bombarded by negative self-talk, I would encourage you to go on a date with Jesus every day during the season of Lent. Learn to recognize His voice, and The Truth will set you free! If you don’t want to buy a devotional book, just read through one of the Gospels and focus on the words and character of Jesus.
Let him woo you, dear sister. The Bridegroom loves his Bride, the Church, and you will find the emptiness in your heart that will never be filled by doing All The Things, satisfied by his love and grace toward you. I leave you with some of the words from today’s message in Jesus Calling (the italicized words are a direct quote from scripture):
Trust me enough to spend ample time with me, pushing back the demands of the day. Refuse to feel guilty about something that is so pleasing to me, the King of the universe (Luke 10:41-42).
Don’t fall into the trap of being constantly on the go. Many, many things people do in My Name have no value in my kingdom. To avoid doing meaningless works, stay in continual communication with me. I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you (Psalm 32:8).